FIFA 13 Therapy
Sometimes, your club loses. Sometimes, in the course of losing, some of your club’s players pick up injuries. Sometimes, during a loss in which a number of your club’s players have been injured, the home crowd turns venomous because your club’s manager can’t/won’t buy players despite having the largest cash reserves on the continent. Sometimes the thing that’s supposed to be your escape from the real world, really sucks. For those times, there are video games.
I support the following clubs: Arsenal (EPL), Hearts (SPL), NY Red Bulls (MLS), and Minnesota United FC (NASL). Let’s be real, MinnUFC and I are just beginning our relationship. Same with Hearts of Midlothian, plus they’re in administration and just had four 90-something year-old medals stolen from their training ground. I do watch all of the Red Bulls’ games, but can’t say I really love them; I mainly watch them for Thierry Henry, which brings me to Arsenal. Let’s just leave it at: things aren’t good for the Gunners at this particular moment, a loss, three strikes in the transfer window, injured players falling like it’s the Somme in 1916, and a bilious home crowd imploring the manager to spend money. These are the Saturday mornings when you wonder why you didn’t just sleep in.
Enter video games. In the welcoming world of FIFA 13, I’ve managed Arsenal to back-to-back-to-back trebles: F.A. Cup, Premier League Champions, and Champions League champions (I’m calling it the Champions League because I forget what FIFA 13 calls it and anyway we all know what it’s supposed to be). Additionally, I was recently named manager of the U.S. Men’s National Team, and, even more recently, I managed the USMNT to a 2-1 victory against Germany in the World Cup final (Yes, I know FIFA 13 doesn’t call it the World Cup). The road to the cup featured a 6-1 drubbing of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Sweden, and a 6-4 win over Brazil in extra time (Jozy hat trick). Oh, the difficulty? Semi-pro. I feel you judging me, but let me stop you there–I do not care. Real life is hard enough. Heck, online gaming is hard enough, with 13-year olds trash talking me while tiki-taka-ing me to death or screaming at me to get back in formation. Unlike real life, where heartless vultures steal team heirlooms from their unguarded display cases, you can turn down the difficulty. Because sometimes you need a punching bag.
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